Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Not even the pigeons shall fly

The Choirboy (his second mention on here in 5 days, just to make amends for my supposed 'neglect' of him recently) observed to me a week or so ago that he was missing the sound of pigeon whistles* in the hutongs around the Bell and Drum Towers.  It suddenly struck me (well, I'd only been back from holidays a few weeks, you see): it's not just the pigeon whistles that are missing, but the pigeons too.  The hutong areas in my neighbourhood are a hotbed of pigeon fanciers, and it is one of my favourite recreations of an afternoon to watch the small flocks swooping and whirling in narrow little circuits round and round their ramshackle rooftop lofts (their owners always seem to fly them between 3.30 and 5.30pm).
 
There have been many attempts to outlaw or restrict the hobby in recent years - whether because of fears of bird 'flu, or misgivings that it is one of those aspects of Old Beijing that might not 'harmonise' with the image of the clean and modern city which China wanted to present to the world in Olympic year.  But they always seem to have come to naught.  Either the pigeon fanciers have some very powerful guanxi... or they're just a bunch of really stubborn old scofflaws who know that enforcement officers aren't likely to fancy clambering around on rickety hutong roofs to check if lofts have been vacated or not.
 
Yep, the pigeons (and their whistles) had survived even the comprehensive pre-Olympic sanitization programme.  But now they're gone.  Edicts have been issued.  And this time even the surly pigeon fanciers' lobby is running scared.
 
I've recently heard that the birds haven't been banished completely, but that their owners have been prohibited from letting them out to fly for a number of weeks prior to tomorrow's great 60th birthday party.  I doubt if that can be very good for their mental or their physical health; I hope they're going to survive this prolonged incarceration.
 
Having a stray pigeon fly across the nice television pictures of tomorrow's Big Parade, you see, could spoil the whole effect.  And imagine what would happen if one of them pooped on Hu Jintao's head.  Or flew into the air intake of one of the helicopters or warplanes that will be flying past.  Why....  CCTV would have to cut to the 'fake' footage it's been preparing during the last month of rehearsals.  Wouldn't that just be terrible?
 
Oh, no.  We couldn't possibly risk that.  So, the capital has become a no-fly zone for pigeons.  I am not making this up.
 
China's birthday - it is a royal pain-in-the-arse!
 
 

* Beijing pigeon whistles are small wooden tubes tied to the back of one or two pigeons in each flock, which vibrate when air is forced through them in flight, making a loud thrumming, whirring noise rather like a talking top or a diabolo.  They don't seem to have any function in helping the birds to keep together.   Nor, indeed, in differentiating one flock from another, since all the whistles – at least to my untrained ear – sound much the same.  I imagine that they are just for helping short-sighted pigeon owners to keep track of their flocks, and to reassure them that they haven't strayed too far way from home base and got lost.


2 comments:

JES said...

And God forbid they be mistaken for doves tomorrow!

Froog said...

In fact, there were some pigeons - or doves? - in the parade yesterday. But clearly these were highly trained professional pigeons who could be trusted to fly into shot at just the right moment, at just the right angle - and not poop on any of the leaders' heads. An unscripted bird appearance might have ruined everything.