That's the standard Chinese response when you display any routine social courtesy. It's meant to suggest, "You don't need to be so polite", but the clipped, choppy nature of the language always make it seem more a rather abrupt and disimissive instruction - as if to imply, "Why on earth are you bothering to be polite?" It's one of the features of the 'culture' that I don't much like: the exaggerated deference which seems to require that people hold themselves unworthy of any kind of compliment, courtesy or consideration from others, and which leads to the expected social response to any such pleasantries being to reject them.
However, there have been times recently when I have felt that American drivers are overdoing the politeness.
It is, I admit, a very pleasant change from Beijing, where drivers treat pedestrians as something to be recklessly ignored or murderously aimed at but never ever as something to slow down for. After a long spell in China, I always find my first few days in the more civilized road-user environment of the USA (or Europe) highly disconcerting. Drivers slow down for you if you're anywhere near the kerb. They usually STOP for you, if you look like you're attempting to cross the road - even if you're not at a designated crossing place. Such behaviour is quite unheard of in Beijing!
But this can be overdone. In Alexandria, VA, over the past couple of weeks, while out walking or (especially) running, I have frequently had cars stop and wait for me to cross in front of them..... when I was not yet anywhere near the junction. OK, these are mostly four-way stops, so drivers are required to come to a halt before proceeding across the junction. And it's a very sleepy, small town kind of environment - so drivers are in less of a hurry, more graciously disposed towards their neighbours, or inclined to be more wary of the possibility of kids or tourists crossing the road without paying attention. That's all very nice.
But really, guys (and gals), if I haven't yet reached the kerb, please feel free to drive on without waiting for me. I might not have decided yet if I want to cross the road - I might change direction, or loiter on this corner for a while. I might stop to re-tie my shoe laces, catch my breath, get my bearings, have a drink of water. There is no other traffic on any of these four roads for at least a quarter of a mile, so you're quite safe to go ahead. There's really no need to wait for me. You see, if you move on, after pausing for a few seconds to check for the possible approach of other road users, you won't be in my way when I finally jog across this road. And if you pause just a little longer, are a little slow to pull away.... well, I'm quite happy to jog around the back of you. But if you stand at the junction motionless for several seconds as I'm approaching, I wonder what the hell is wrong with you..... and I STOP at the kerb, because I think you've probably just zoned out for a moment, and will lurch forward as soon as you come to yourself again, without noticing my presence.
If I'm at or near the kerb and obviously looking to cross, then your waiting is a much appreciated kindness. But if I'm still five or ten yards away, it's really not necessary - you're just wasting everybody's time.
But, oh boy, how I wish I had these problems in Beijing.....
6 comments:
Some municipalities (states?) have courtesy laws (or whatever they're called) which can befuddle even US citizens from elsewhere. Once, in a city in New Hampshire I think (Peterborough?), I was preparing to cross a street so -- as is often the custom in New Jersey, Pennsylvania, New York -- I stepped off the curb to wait for a break in the traffic. Apparently that stepping-off-the-curb (okay, kerb) act triggers some sort of reflexive fear in NH drivers: traffic came to an immediate and complete standstill.
Naturally I couldn't figure out what had happened until someone, a car or two back in the line, rolled down his window and waved me on. There was no honking, no raised fists nor fingers. They just... waited.
It was like Kafka in reverse: people failing to persecute you. For no reason at all, even.
Freaky :)
When I was in the US (NY & WA) a few months ago it took me a while to get used to the idea that even though there was a Walk sign to allow me to cross a junction, cars also had a green light to turn left or right into the road I was crossing, but that I HAD PRIORITY.
It's a wonderful country in some ways.
Of all the things I miss about the States, casual civility is probably the biggest. I could manage without proper bookstores or libraries, and without barbecue and beer, if only people in China weren't so constantly, unnecessarily shitty to one another.
Every time I've tried to explain the notion of pedestrians having the right-of-way to Chinese friends (I've improvised it as 步行先行权), they've looked at me as if I'd just suggested a three-way with their deceased grandmother.
Ah, you're back, Mr Weeble!
Did you manage to get out West for the eclipse? I imagine travel to those parts is heavily restricted since the recent unpleasantness.
I hadn't realised it was going to be visible in Beijing too. I'm slightly bummed I missed it. Has it triggered an escalation of the old superstitions? Pernickety ancestors getting an extra instalment of burnt protection money, the skies black with smoke more than the dimming of the sun?
Ended up watching the eclipse with a friend a couple hours outside Shanghai -- like everywhere else, it was overcast, but we still got a few minutes of total darkness.
Don't know if anyone's interpreting this as a signal that it's time for a revolution, but one can hope.
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