Constant clatter denies sleep:
Overnight train journey.
And yes, I know the syllable count is off in the last line. I could blame the fact that I am so goddamned tired right now. Or I could just say that it sounds right to me.
Of course, it would be easy to fix it by changing the line to something like 'Long night's journey' - but I am obstinately attached to my first thoughts, even if they do lead me into a rare flouting of the rules.
2 comments:
at least you're a conscientious (sp?) haiku-er. a lot of people let it be a free-for-all short poem. i want to be like, listen people!! there are RULES here!!
No, that just doesn't work, does it? I was shown a book of so-called 'haiku' by a friend of a friend a while back and..... well, some of them were interesting in their way, but they just weren't haiku. Some of them had four lines, for heaven's sake.
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